May 18, 2022

Non-violent Wishes for the New England Patriots

Although it would be insensitive to use violent rhetoric this week, I have a few wishes for Sunday…

  1. I hope the New England Patriots get so caught-up watching stolen Jets film that they forget it’s game time!
  2. I hope the New England Patriots eat a bad batch of baked beans and tainted scrod at their team dinner.
  3. I hope the New England Patriots are detained by Sgt. James Crowley while entering their own homes Sunday.
  4. I hope the New England Patriots throw their backs out shoveling their driveways.
  5. I hope the New England Patriots have to wait at home Sunday for the cable guy.
  6. I hope the New England Patriots have to appear in court Sunday to make their child support payments.
  7. I hope the spleens of the New England Patriots spontaneously fall out of the bodies.
  8. I hope the New England Patriots slip and fall on a really big banana peel. That would be so hilarious!
J-E-T-S! Jets! Jets! Jets!

4 thoughts on “Non-violent Wishes for the New England Patriots

  1. You will like this gary. As you know I am a hugh Steeler fan – sort of a native – since I grew up on the south side of Pgh. Though the thought of a 7th super bowl ring for my Steelers sounds wonderful, I won’t mind seeing you and Jets rejoice on Sunday night!

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