December 2, 2022

A Crime Against Humanity


At the risk of being (rightly) labeled a pampered American wimp, I wish to expose one of the most critical issues of our time.

Passionfruit ice tea.

An international tribunal should be convened in the Hague to try the inventor of this loathsome libation. There is no punishment too cruel or unusual. I demand soft-drink justice!

Who likes this stuff? Why do restaurants insist on serving a beverage that tastes like “Curious-Perfume by Britney Spears?”

For the love of all that we hold sacred, please stop polluting my ice tea!

2 thoughts on “A Crime Against Humanity

  1. amen. i couldn’t agree more. starbucks has a version of passion fruit ice tea that is downright awful.

    passion fruit iced tea, the razor cartel (yes, gillette, i’m talkin to you!) and gas prices should be at the top of the list for the new president. 😉

  2. My favorite part of the whole Passionfruit Ice Tea nightmare is that when you ask a server for ice tea, they respond with, “It’s passionfruit ice tea. Is that OK?”

    If passionfruit ice tea is so terrific, why do servers have to warn customers?

    How did this toxic waste become ubiquitous?

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