April 23, 2024
creativity / education policy / Featured articles / leadership / learning / teaching

I was Bullied

Gary Stagerby Gary Stager

I was bullied by the older neighborhood kids.

I was bullied by the kids in the Scout troop.

I was bullied in elementary school.

I was bullied in middle school.

I was bullied in high school.

I was bullied as a freshman in college.

I was bullied in Hebrew School.

I was bullied in the Boy Scouts

I was bullied while working at Boy Scout Camp.

I was bullied by the sixth grade science teacher who threw a textbook at my head during class.

I was bullied by the 7th grade English teacher who filled my knapsack with heavy literature books and ordered me to hike laps in the “cluster” between classrooms for entire periods. I will write about him in great depth at some point.

I was bullied by the middle school newspaper advisor who followed me into the boy’s room, threw me up against a wall and threatened to kill me if we published another copy of our “unofficial” school newspaper.

I was bullied by a vicious 8th grade math teacher who helped me make the rapid transition from gifted math class to lowest track and destroyed my ability to learn high school math.

I was bullied by anti-Semitic scoutmasters who would not allow me to become an Eagle Scout without re-painting a church as my project.

I was bullied by phys-ed teachers who often engaged in physical and verbal abuse.

I was called, Dexter, Poindexter, Boink, F#g, F%ggot, Dork and countless other names on a bazillion occasions.

My 12th grade math teacher (a great educator) gave me a 30-second head-start to run out of class so I could avoid the violence of my classmates.

Facebook was unnecessary. It would have been redundant.

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53 thoughts on “I was Bullied”

  2. Me too. I was shoved in lockers, beat up in the hall, had to fight my way out onto the bus where i put up with more. My sister was bullied too. We also didn’t fair to well on the home front either. I didn’t get any head starts. I remember spending a whole morning in my locker; it was safer in there. It’s not what happens to us that determines who we are but what we do to others. I decided long ago that I would not let other choose who I was going to be or what I would become. I was told by a teacher I would never amount to anything. Now I’m a principal; guess it depends on how you view administrators on whether he was right or not;)

  3. I was bullied too until I learned that if I didn’t look like I was interested in learning and school, I would be socially acceptable. How many kids who are interested in learning shut off their natural curiosity to fit in and avoid the harassment. I was lucky – I escaped to an academic high school where it was acceptable, even encouraged, to express my desire to learn.

    We need a version of “It gets better” for the victims of bullying.

  4. im gay and i get bullied all the time i get so upset that i cry and cry i cant sleep sometimes how can i deal with this?

  5. i get scared everyday cause people say that i can go die in a whole
    ive to run but that did not go to well and i have not told my dad or mom well i tryed to tell my mom but she freaked so i told my mom that i was kidding but i gess i need help on how to tell my mom and dad and dont get hurt by this

  6. Hang in there my friend!

    Find someone you can talk with – a teacher, friend, friend’s parent, if you can’t talk to your parents. I bet your parents love you and don’t want to hurt you or see you hurt, but you know best.

    Also, PLEASE check out this web site – http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

    Being a teenager sucks for everyone. Find a good book to get lost in or join a club or demonstrate your worth by working hard at school, a job or some hobby.

    You’ll get through this. As the web site’s videos testify, it gets better!

  9. There isn’t much to say to the author, except, escape to a place where you will be safe. As adults, while there are huge costs, we get to do that. Look globally, and find a community which will accept you as human.

    For educators, for policy makers, please remember that YOU either allow and create bullies OR prevent them. Schools and politicians build bullying societies. They decide who is “more valuable” in a school building or in your “home town” http://speedchange.blogspot.com/2009/05/adult-communities-and-school-bullies.html Leaders create bullies, from Chris Christie to Sarah Palin to Arne Duncan bullying is a form of power used by the weak and incompetent to pretend they are capable. And when we embrace that http://speedchange.blogspot.com/2010/07/lord-of-flies-how-adults-create.html we create bullies.

    It is no surprise that the state which produces this Middle School http://speedchange.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-run-one-of-worst-middle-schools-in.html elects a moron like this http://twitter.com/#!/GovChristie to run the state.

    Those of you in whatever community you are in have the power to stop this. When you choose not to, you become complicit.

  10. I was verbally and emotionally bullied. I didn’t do what the “popular” kids deemed acceptable so I learned to be a better student; go to college and now I teach. I see students accepting bullying to “fit in” and what I do only seems to make it worse. If I attempt to stop bullying, students will be bullied behind teachers backs, others say this is the “_____(name of town) way” and that this is how it has always been.

    Unfortunately their parents bully too. Somehow I have escaped being bullied out of town, documented and kept my teaching position.

    Oh well, I will continue to speak up, step in and if students’ dislike me for interfering, I am okay with that. I would rather that than have another student or their parents hurt. I do not accept that bullying is any town’s way.

  11. Destinee,

    Every single person is worthwhile. YOU are worthwhile. Sometimes we just can’t see other people for who they are. That’s what’s happening to you. Those people who are making your life miserable just can’t see what’s so cool about you. It’s true that it will get better, but I feel like that’s a really miserable promise to make right now. Like you have to continue to suffer until it gets better.

    I wish I could come to school with you and solve this one for you, but I can’t. Who is the one adult you know would listen? The one adult you know would understand? The one adult you know would help? Tell that person what’s going on. Make it clear that you need help. Make it clear that you feel unsafe and need to be protected.

    BTW, your mom freaked because she loves you. If she didn’t love you, she wouldn’t have freaked. Being a teenager is really hard, and being a parent is really hard too.

  12. a 2 weeks ago i got hit in my mouth in the hall way and i lost a touth but i dont fight back cause if u wount respect you got to give respect and i forget and forgive

  13. a 2 weeks ago i got hit in my mouth in the hall way and i lost a touth but i dont fight back cause if u wount respect you got to give respect and i forget and forgive so i dont hurt aneyone around me abut my get in fights with my dad and mom alot i dont no why

  14. its almost like life hates me and its never stops i have like 3 fraind at my school and i gone to that school for 3 years i hate it here i get notes in my locker saying im a freek and i dont belong there at that school

  15. Destinee-
    Sweetheart, no one should be able to treat you that way. You have every right to be treated with respect and dignity. Is there one adult you can think of that you trust? It could be someone at school or it might be a friends’ parent or a pastor. I want you to think of one adult. And then I want you to tell that adult what is happening. Destinee, you are a wonderful young lady who deserves respect. Don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise.
    Here is a phone number for the Girls and Biys Town Hotline 1-800-448-3000. There are people there you can talk to. Talk to somebody Destinee. I will be praying for you, sweetie.

  17. Have you told Alex or his mom what has happened? Is their house a safe place for you to go? It’s good to have friends, Destinee. All we need is one good friend. I am glad you have Alex.

  19. How nice to have such a good friend so close! You keep your head up and have Alex and his mom help you come up with a plan for telling an adult at school what is happening.

    I’m a mom, too. So I can understand how this might upset her. Could you write her a note to tell her what is happening? It might give her a chance to think about it before talking to you about it. Sometimes we moms need time to settle down:)

  22. Destinee,

    It took a lot of courage to post here. It takes a lot of courage to live with all of this too. Sometimes school sucks, and I’m sorry for that. Hold your head high. Use your courage to talk to Alex’s mom, to communicate with your mom, to write for the newspaper, and to share yourself with the world. You have a lot to teach the rest of us!

    Bridgette

  23. when tthis all happend it hurt but im starting to get use to it have gf gor 3 mounths now but she get bullyed and i do but it dose not stop use from being together

  24. Destinee,

    I second what’s been said here. Hang on to your best friend, talk to an adult that you trust to make sure that someone knows what’s going on. Have them help you talk to someone at school. You don’t deserve to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome at school. You are worthwhile and you have much to offer and you should remember that!

    I agree with Bridgette…it took a lot of courage for you to post here.

  26. You go, Destinee! You are a brave, brave person. Please check back in and let us know how you are doing. I will be thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. I am glad you shared yourself with us. It is an honor and privilege to know you are out there holding your head high.

  29. Dearest Destinee,
    I would agree with Teresa and others who have posted advice here about hanging on to your friends and trusted adults. You need to remember that high school is not life, and you have a positive and bright future ahead of you. How do I know? Because you have shown your compassion, your heart, and your talents just in these few blog posts. Someone with your gifts will find a future where the world will benefit from all you have to give. It does get better. Keep in touch.

  30. ive have ben looking for jobs and get my grade up and iv talk to alexs mom and im geting a cell phone and will be paying for it by my self maybe some help by mom and dad well its geting better have not gone to school but im working on it i have school on monday and have a better time

  31. Destinee- Wow! A cell phone and a job! Lots of responsibility. Good for you. I have school Monday, too. I am a teacher. If it helps, I’m not excited about going either. I’m going to miss sleeping in and wearing my pajamas:) Ha-ha.

    I will be thinking about you Monday and sending positive energy your way. Keep your head up, wonderful lady. You have lots to be proud of. 🙂

  33. ok well ill be back tomarrow my head hurts and i gtg to bed cause i have a inture view early tomarrow

  36. Destinee-
    If you didn’t get that job, it just means there is an even better one for you out there some where! Keep trying!

  38. Destinee- You go, girl! Well, I’m off to finish my chores and get to bed. BAck to school tomorrow, ugh! I’ll be thinking of you and hoping you have a good, positive day at school.

  39. Destinee-
    You go, girl! Well, I’m off to finish my chores and get to bed. BAck to school tomorrow, ugh! I’ll be thinking of you and hoping you have a good, positive day at school.

  43. Destinee-
    Glad to hear school is going okay. Are folks leaving you alone and not bothering you? Glad you checked back in. Take care!

  45. Good for you, D! Once they figure out they can’t bug you, hopefully they will just leave you alone all the time.

    Have a good rest of the week!

    :)Teresa

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